Open Blog: Postings are the opinion of the essayist.
FCLNY is extremely grateful for the opinions offered and invite others to submit essays to: info@fclny.org.
FCLNY recognizes that within the community of subscribers to the consistent life ethic there is a diversity of views as to how this ethic might be implemented in culture, philosophy and law. Not all views necessarily hinge on FCLNY’s opposition to publicly-sanctioned lethal violence. Some may expand that view. Others may narrow that view.
Our open blog allows FCLNY supporters and guest essayists to explore these differences in order to achieve greater understanding between peers and within our communities.
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Author Britani Anthony holds a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology from Georgia State University. She is a member of the AND Campaign's Whole-Life Project.
“4 Reasons Men Must Be Holistically Pro-Life”
“No ovaries or uterus, no opinion” is a common pro-abortion rights mantra yelled more often than spoken in order to shut a pro-life man up. Though it actually can’t be used against pro-life women who have an opposing view that values human life from conception onwards, some still try anyway.
It Takes Two to Tango
As women, we can’t get pregnant by ourselves. Even for those (of us) who utilize sperm banks because we want to have children by any means necessary, a man is still needed to create another human being with us even if not in the traditional sense.
But these children are not just ours, they also have fathers; fathers who absolutely need to take equal responsibility to raise and support them as we are called to do. Parenting should never be a one person job; it was never meant to be that way.
Holistically Pro-Life
To be holistically pro-life means that as we value human life from conception in the womb to natural death and care for mothers and their babies, we also recognize and address other societal issues (maternal mortality; racism; poverty; classism; lack of access to affordable healthcare and childcare; living wages; underemployment, unemployment, etc.) and individual situations (abusive and unsupportive partners and other family members; less than ideal living situations; homelessness; internal and external pressures and expectations, etc.) that can influence women’s decisions to abort their children.
In order to address why men must be holistically pro-life, we must first unapologetically reiterate the fact that abortion is wrong because of one undeniable and elementary fact: it is the intentional killing of a preborn human being.
4 Reasons Men Must Be Holistically Pro-Life
Pro-life Men Help Save Lives
In Amy Gentile’s 2014 Social Work Theses on “The Impact of Partner Support In Abortion”, she cites Ney, P., Peeters-ney, M.A., Fung, T., & Sheils, C. (2013) as having “found that if a partner is present and not supportive, the abortion rate is four times greater than if the partner is present and supportive. Therefore, a lack of partner support has been significantly associated with higher rates of abortion and miscarriage.”
In Gentile’s same theses, she also cited that, “In a study performed by Shuping, M. (2011), 76% of women stated they would have made a different choice if others had encouraged them differently. These findings illustrate the fact that women often feel abortion is their only option due to their partner’s feelings towards the pregnancy.” (Shuping, 2011).
A man’s voice is important because his silence will always speak volumes. Because pro-life men have the potential to save literal lives, women and children will always fare better in society, and life in general, when men are truly lovingly, compassionately, and empathetically pro-life.
The current legislation in many places is not conducive to women and children flourishing because among the male legislators, there are not more holistically pro-life men in positions of power and authority seeking to create a healthier and safer society for us and our children.
If you have ever met a holistically pro-life man, he seeks to be consistent in his life ethic and will advocate for all of the needs that mothers and their children need to not merely survive, but THRIVE in life.
As much as postmodern pro-abortion feminists want to talk about the evils of patriarchy through the lens of gender oppression (and we absolutely should!), they unfortunately do not also see how oppressive abortion truly is as well.
Instead of advocating for us to be treated with equal dignity and respect, here some are telling women that we should want to “be like men” and that in order to be “equal” to men and make it in society, we should have the right to kill our innocent babies in our wombs.
Instead of acknowledging and appreciating the beautiful differences between men and women while advocating for women to not be discriminated against because we can and may become pregnant at some point in our lives, we are pushing for the spiritual and physical trauma and death of human beings inside and outside of the womb.
Pro-life men who empathize and seek to understand women, our bodies, our experiences, and especially what we go through during pregnancy, will also emphasize how important partner support is during and after a woman’s pregnancy for us and our babies. They will want to provide that support so that we will feel happier, supported, and less stressed, which will help our children as well.
We must also not forget that abortion affects men as well. The aftermath is not the exact same as it is for women because they cannot get pregnant and the trauma of aborting a child does not affect them in the same physical way. But this does not mean that men’s lives are not forever affected and changed after an abortion. “Male responses to a partner’s abortion include grief, guilt, depression, anxiety, feelings of repressed emotions, helplessness/voicelessness/powerlessness, post-traumatic stress, anger and relationship problems (Coyle, 2007).” https://www.usccb.org/prolife/programs/rlp/rue.pdf
Whether a man is holistically pro-life because of conviction or conviction plus personal experience, he is actively taking a step towards helping save the lives of men from not supporting the destruction of their children via abortion.
Pro-life men have the power to save lives and help create a healthier society for all of us.
Pro-Life Men Destroy Negative Stereotypes of Men by Encouraging Good Character & Healthy Masculinity
We have all had negative experiences with men whether it was family, “friends”, romantically, in our workplace, on the street, in public, at church and other places of worship/faith, etc. We have been treated with disrespect and hatred; ignored, overlooked, harassed, and even assaulted by boys and men. These experiences have unfortunately led us to create a stereotype and therefore project our experiences onto men who did not and would not seek to cause us or any other girl or woman harm.
Hyper masculinity has lied to society and led people, especially men, to believe that being loving, peaceful, kind, gentle, respectful, self-controlled, self-disciplined, selfless, etc. is “feminine” and makes a man weak, passive, and soft.
But men actually should embody all of these positive character traits and more because when they do, it will naturally lead them to value life and promote caring for the weak and vulnerable instead of using their strength and power to dominate and destroy others.
Encouraging Accountability, Responsibility, Selflessness, & Self-Control
Fatherhood, like motherhood, is not the end of someone’s entire life or identity. It is the beginning of a new season and now an extension (not the sum) of who you are. With parenthood comes a new level of love, sacrifice, selflessness, protection, and responsibility, especially as a man. For men, fatherhood is not the end of their lives; it is the beginning of 3 new ones: theirs, the mother of their child(ren), AND the baby’s.
When men believe abortion is a good and valid option, it is the opposite of “manning up” and in fact absolves them of their new responsibility if they have gotten a woman pregnant. It also removes the need for self-control and allows post-modern sexual ethics to use human beings merely for pleasure and dispose of anyone who gets in the way of their fleshly pursuits.
Destroying Negative Stereotypes
Many people are often upset at how monstrous society can make men out to be. Unfortunately these beliefs have come as a result of the power and authority men have in different spaces, yet are often unlikely to hold themselves and each other to a standard of integrity, discipline, accountability, and responsibility.
I would argue that one of the ways we can change that narrative is to encourage men to take complete accountability for their actions, responsibility in their lives, embrace empathy, practice compassion, and exhibit care for others especially when it comes to women’s issues and experiences. Growing in these areas will not only help them to be better husbands, partners, fathers, and friends, but HUMAN BEINGS who are free to feel and healthily express a full range of emotions they may have previously been denied or discouraged from doing. Men will not get off scot-free while women are left unsupported and parenting alone.
Pro-Life Men Encourage Healthy Male Leadership & Help Dismantle Toxic Patriarchy Patriarchy & the Abuse & Mistreatment of Women (females?)
Patriarchy is defined as “a system of social structures and practices in which men govern, oppress, and exploit women.”
This has resulted in a society where girls and women are largely excluded and men are in control. For various reasons, men are going to be in leadership positions more often than women (in many spaces). This often proves to be problematic especially when those men are not kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate, and empathetic so that they are aware of how their privilege as men may be negatively affecting the women around them and in society.
We should note that the oppression and abuse of girls and women exists just as much in sacred spaces as it does in secular spaces.
Because patriarchy is heavily male-centered, it enables the bad behavior of men: using, abusing, controlling, and dominating girls and women as they please with no severe consequences for their actions and certainly no help for those affected by this mistreatment (Where there is abuse, specifically sexual abuse, girls and women will be forced or coerced into abortions in order for the abuse to continue.) ; sleeping around/hook up culture; abandonment or coercion into abortion if there is a pregnancy; pornography consumption; the support of what is now called “sex work”, while upholding men as superior to women.
Pro-Life Men Lead & Protect in Healthy Ways
Good men who are in positions of healthy leadership and/or who recognize their privilege as men in a patriarchal society are not seeking to lead or protect because they don’t believe that women can’t speak up for themselves. They are doing so because it is right to speak up for someone who may have less power or privilege than you. Imagine being in a situation where no one recognizes or cares when you are being mistreated and you’re the only one who is defending you. Some people are ok with that, but it shouldn’t be that way. Society is so hell-bent on “justice” and “speaking up for the oppressed”, yet when good men do it and for the pre-born, it’s strangely a problem.
Even so, holistically pro-life men seek to lead and protect no matter what because it’s right and human beings deserve it.
Pro-Life Men Remind us of Our Need for Good & Healthy Men
In the same way women are not primarily here to be mothers, men are not here primarily to be fathers. Parenthood is beautiful, but will not be part of everyone’s story and that’s ok.
No one should be defined by their career, gifts, background, or what season of life we are in. Life changes so much that if we put so much weight on any of those things, we will become so unstable and unsure of who we are when our identity is defined by those things. People are here for their own individual purposes that have to do with making the world a better place in some way, shape, or form.
Where patriarchy idolizes and pedestalizes men, post-modern feminism makes men completely obsolete. But we should be seeking to create a society where men are valued for who they are, what they bring to the world, and where they are holding themselves and others accountable and to a standard of kindness, integrity, respect, and compassion.
Children, families, and societies fare better when good and healthy men are present in people’s lives as friends, brothers, fathers, uncles, mentors, uncles, husbands, leaders, advocates, and beyond.
Sources:
Gentile, Amy “The Impact of Partner Support in Abortion” https://digitalcommons.providence.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1092&context=socialwrk_students#:~:text=of%20adolescent%20pregnancies.-,Ney%20et%20al.,et%20al.%2C%202013).
Ney, P., Peeters-ney, M.A., Fung, T., & Sheils, C. (2013). How partner support of an adolescent affects her pregnancy outcome. WedMed Central Public Health, 4(2), 1- 22.
Shuping, M. (2011). Wantedness and coercion: Key factors in understanding women’s mental health after abortion. Association for Interdisciplinary Research in Values and Social Change, 23(2), 1-8
Citing: Ney et. al (as cited by Gentile, 2014)... (4(2), 1-22)
In Amy Gentile’s 2014 Social Work Theses on “The Impact of Partner Support In Abortion”, she cites Ney, P., Peeters-ney, M.A., Fung, T., & Sheils, C. (2013). “How partner support of an adolescent affects her pregnancy outcome.” WedMed Central Public Health, 4(2), 1- 22
“Ney et. al (2013) found that if a partner is present and not supportive, the abortion rate is four times greater than if the partner is present and supportive. Therefore, a lack of partner support has been significantly associated with higher rates of abortion and miscarriage.”
“In a study performed by Shuping, M. (2011), 76% of women stated they would have made a different choice if others had encouraged them differently. These findings illustrate the fact that women often feel abortion is their only option due to their partner’s feelings towards the pregnancy. (Shuping, 2011).”
Shuping, M. (2011). Wantedness and coercion: Key factors in understanding women’s mental health after abortion. Association for Interdisciplinary Research in Values and Social Change, 23(2), 1-8.
Photo by Kampus Production: https://www.pexels.com/photo/joyful-trendy-young-diverse-guys-taking-self-portrait-on-roof-5935258/